I’ve never felt as overwhelmed and overcome by fear than I did standing at the edge of the Gulf of Mexico in the dark, waiting for the cannon to fire. It was my first Ironman. The surf was rough, the water churned, and the buoys marking the swim course disappeared into the fog like ghosts. The finish line archway was barely 200 yards behind me on the adjacent road. Close enough to touch. But in truth, it was 140.6 miles away along a different path. As my mind wandered to all that lay ahead — the miles, the pain, the doubt — it felt paralyzing, suffocating.
Finish lines are often sources of inspiration, but sometimes, when you can see how far away they are, they feel impossible. The more I thought about the full journey ahead, the tighter my chest became. That kind of thinking — zooming out too far, too often, too early — can devastate you before you ever take the first step.
So I looked to what I actually could see, and that was the first buoy. And I knew another one lay behind it, then another. Just find the first buoy, I thought. Get there. Then find the next, and I could worry about what comes after once I got there.
A Simple Frame, A Powerful Mindset
Over the years, I’ve come back to this strategy again and again — whether running across the Grand Canyon, circling Mont Blanc, or simply trying to finish a long week or a long day. I’ve come to think of it as The Box.
The Box is a mental frame. It’s how far out you allow yourself to look during something hard — a race, a project, a difficult season. When you’re strong and rested, the box is wide. You think in terms of miles, days, even years. But when you’re worn out or discouraged, the box shrinks — and it should.
Sometimes the box becomes a single task. Just get through this call. Just reach the next aid station. Just make it to lunch.
And it’s fluid. It contracts and expands based on capacity, mental energy. I’ve had days where my box went from a long-range plan to simply taking one step at a time. And that wasn’t weakness. It was the smartest, strongest move I had.
Presence Over Prediction
The Box isn’t about lowering expectations. It’s about focusing your energy where it can actually make a difference.
And that makes it a cousin to mindfulness. In mindfulness practice, you learn to root your awareness in the present moment — not in a hazy future you can’t predict or control. You breathe. You feel. You notice. You return.
When you’re in a storm — physically, emotionally, professionally — trying to forecast your way out of it will only lead to more anxiety. But attention? That’s something you can control. You can shrink the frame. You can return to this mile, this moment, this breath.
This idea runs deep in Eastern and meditative traditions: that suffering grows when we ruminate on past mistakes or try to manage an imagined future. Peace begins when we let go of what we can’t yet reach and stay where we are.
The Box, at its core, is just that: a controlled perspective. Not to shrink your ambition, but to keep you from collapsing under it. And to allow you to move forward, one step at a time.
From Mountains to Meetings
Not every challenge is a race or a mountain. Sometimes it’s parenting. Or caregiving. Or getting out of bed when you’re burned out.
And the same rule applies: shrink the frame.
I’ve started workouts where the warmup felt impossible — only to find my rhythm by the second mile. I’ve sat down to write when I had nothing left — and found the words flowing once I let go of needing to finish and focused instead on starting.
Whatever it is you’re carrying, remember this: you’re not carrying the whole thing all at once. You’re carrying the next piece. Then the next and the next.
Challenge for the Month: Shrink the Frame
When your week feels too long, your schedule too packed, your body too tired — shrink the frame.
- Don’t plan the whole race. Plan the next mile.
- Don’t carry the entire day. Carry the next hour.
- Don’t aim to conquer everything. Just move the needle.
Write it on a sticky note. Say it out loud if you need to. This is your box.
Find it. Use it. Let it move with you.
